Part A: Review your thoughts from the feedback activity by identifying the main notes you received and then try the following:
- Try starting with the “easiest” notes and work your way down to the harder, more difficult to digest feedback notes.
- For each note, how can you make changes that address the spirit of the note?
- Come up with more than one possibility and try them out before honing in on the best solution.
- Finally, re-pitch your story to the same person or group of people and see how it flies. You may need to go through this process several times before you and your team are happy with the results.
Want to join the conversation?
- Do the same rules in Film Grammar apply to a live action Film?(13 votes)
- What if Pixar gave us full movies to watch? Maybe we could look though them and learn how an actual movie works out and see how the movie maker works thought it and teaches the watcher a lesson.(13 votes)
- here's my pitch: BTW, I'm working on a book not a film, but this course still helps with that.
A girl named Laurel lives a normal life, she interacts with her brother and his group of friends sometimes, but not often, she loves her family but usually hangs out with her best friend. Until one day she goes to the movie theater with her best friend: Zack and in the middle of the movie he starts acting weird, he stands up, holds out his hand and blasts a hole through the person in front of them's chest. After he does that Laurel jumps up (thinking she's in a dream) she runs and bumps into this person who pulls her into a room and tells her to follow him if she wants to survive. So she ends up following him in a daze and this stranger takes her to his house and explains that she is a genetic experiment. She tells him he is crazy then runs out of the strangers house and goes back home. she pretends everything is ok until she watches the news and sees that somehow people were found dead in the movie theater. and no one knows who it was. Then she starts freaking out, until nighttime when she sees her brother: Aaron sneak out. so fearing for him she follows him to where he meets up with his group of friends, one of them sees her and is super angry, but right as they start to argue (Laurel and Aaron) zack somehow tracks her and tries to kidnap her, but aaron uses his powers to save her and his friends to.
They neutrilize zack right as the stranger shows up, everyone is in (except for the passed out zack) on them having powers (laurel included) and she is stressed as she runs away she passes out because the stranger made her.
When she wakes up she is back in the strangers house with her brother, his friends, zack who is tied up and the stranger who introduces himself as Liam. Then they explain that she has powers to, as she freaks out she lights herself on fire causing her to panic more. Eventually liam gets a bucket of water and pours it over her and Liam explains that her powers are based on her emotions and that she needs to calm down. The rest of the people in the room are completely calm or passed out which makes Laurel more freaked out. but finnaly Evelyn, one of Aaron's friends uses her powers to show the memories from the past few weeks, and apparently aaron and his friends had the same thing happen to them. His friends had turned on him and liam saved aaron by removing the chips from out of their necks and they returned to normal. Laurel still freaked out decides to go to bed to sleep on it.
that's the beginning of my story, i can write part two sometime in the future. Tell me your honest opinions plz and thank you. :D(9 votes)
- If you want this this be extremely professionally done, I suggest studying J.R.R. Tolkien's works (as there are actual scholars and PHDs concerning his work), and watching videos on worldbuilding and storytelling on Youtube. I'm currently building my own fantasy world, and I'm aiming to make mine at least as good as Tolkien's material.
Perhaps you could include a backstory on her parents and her bloodline if the powers are passed down through generations. You may also want to consider altering the world so that it's a bit more tailored to the story you are trying to create. To my understanding, you are basically making a normal world, like we have now, but with a some powers/magic. Realistically speaking (as one does in a magic world), society and civilization would be different than it currently is, in this scenario. If the kids gained the powers through some astronomical chance of being hit with an extra-large dose of radiation or something, perhaps you do not need to do so much tailoring. But if it is passed through families, then must have been people, important people, in the past who have shaped society through their said powers, for good or bad. And those people had enemies who wanted to undo their work. For example, there might've been some nice dude with powers, and let's say he was the president or something, but he made a mistake with his powers, somebody turned on him, he got got deposed, and now the leader of the people of the chips is now president, and now American society is in a lockdown with "Powered Peoples Peacekeeping" forces patrolling the nation or something like that.
Just a thought.(1 vote)
- I think she looks that way to trick people, like she says, "Oh, I'm always this teeny! I can't reach that big thing over there!" even though she can (maybe when she was still a superhero).(6 votes)
- They seem very angry and curious on whatever is going on.Maybe trying to figure something out,trying to find kids in the movie maybe ran somewhere without telling there parent's.(3 votes)
- multiple pitching seems intimidating,is it?(2 votes)
- Peter Quilt personality is nice and goody for a guy like him. It needs to have more emotion. More personality to each character, make em very different from one another.
I can always ask help for character suggestions, or something else. Like what words can I use to describe the pain he's feeling.
I will make Peter more expressive with himself, so that the audience could really understand how he's feeling.(2 votes)
- In the movie feedback from The Incredibles, Bob and Helen are talking about Dash because he did something bad at school while Mr. Kropp told Helen and Principal Walker what Dash did in his class but Dash does not believe the(1 vote)